Everywhere, in 2013

In the spirit of No Drain Tuna and other why-didn’t-I-think-of-that ideas:

1. Toilet paper with a short story printed on the back, excerpts from Esquire/GQ/Nuts, marketing material, vouchers, etc. Captive audience

2. Vitamin shots delivered via an inhaler, or via a cigar-shaped chew. A stylish alternative to the rattling box of pills.

3. Designer fragrance fabric conditioner. Why should your clothes smell of lavender when it could be Chanel pour Monsieur?

4. Language lessons from a celebrity, via iTunes. Penelope Cruz for Spanish, Marion Cotillard for French, that meerkat for Russian, etc. Everyone says they want to learn a language + everyone has their headphones on + celebrity sells. Simples.

5. Bespoke knitters sourced online. Chose the design & input your measurements via the website; domestic knitters then bid for the job (price, delivery dates). Customers give Amazon-style feedback. Part of a broader make-do-and-mend, clothing adjustors movement (patches on sleeves, new collars & cuffs).

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